Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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