I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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