Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
