We're like a lot better than the average bears
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
