Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
