No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
