Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
