Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
