When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
