Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
