found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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