his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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