plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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