This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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