I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
