is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
