There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
