I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this beer tastes like vomit already
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
