im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
