I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
it's great music for shaving your balls
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
