u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
