i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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