Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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