I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
