he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
