Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
