I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
