why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
