I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
