I wish my penis had an off switch
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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