he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
dude. I can hear the air.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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