He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
