Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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