it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She bit a glass in half.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
