SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
