Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
