At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
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