Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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