did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
