do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
