It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
