why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
