Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
