So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
