Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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