Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
