1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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