everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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