eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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