Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
