I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is the high leading the old right now
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
