I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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